3 years, 2 girls

Fave Foto Friday-Puppy love

Yay! It's Friday!! Here are a couple of pictures from earlier this month of the girls loving on Gabe, our dog, who usually gets more negative comments than hugs. You can find more FFF posts on Sarah's blog. Happy weekend!!

Three weeks in June: Week 3

(Still major financial stress, work stress, etc. This was also a stressful week with transitioning from K being at home to going to school towards the end of the week, plus VBS being every night leading to our nightime schedule being way thrown off.)

June 15: Back to work. Where did my weekend go?? G & K went over to my sister's house to do "school." She and my brother in law have been doing so great in teaching them. They really worked hard! Since it's been over a week since K had the flu, she is free to go back to normal activities (yay!) and the girls go to Vacation Bible School in the evening. This throws a little more "crazy" into our schedule since it goes from 6-8:30 pm. They seem to really like it and I feel very overwhelmed seeing them sing and sign out the words so wholeheartedly.

June 16: We had an appt for K for neuropsych testing (rescheduled from last week when K was sick) for 2, and I had planned to meet my mother at the hospital with K. In the morning, the hospital called to say that since "K is sick", they want to reschedule the appointment. UGH... I was really dreading how long that would take and frustrated not to be able to do it (and stressed about having to tell work that the appt time had been rescheduled and to take off a different time.) Discussion of how K is not sick anymore and should be cleared to come to the appointment since she is not infectious. Discussions with her doctor's office and their office and hospital infection control result in them realizing that she can be cleared to come to the hospita. (Everything is so difficult.) Leave early from work to go to the neuropsyc appointment, which takes much longer than I had anticipated (3 1/2 hours). K is much more perky this time, for now-obvious reasons. In the middle of her testing, when she was scraping the cream off the inside of an Oreo, her wiggly tooth starts coming out--not what they are used to in the psychology section of the hospital! They got me some gloves and I got the tooth out and rinsed out her mouth. She was excited about it and wanted to show everyone her tooth. The girls go to VBS again that night. They seem very happy when playing and singing at the end of the program. When we're leaving, G tells about her friends who she has met and K says "me no friends." :( I am overwhelmed by sadness. I went back in and asked one of the teachers to try to introduce her/ create a play situation with other children. When we're going home and I ask K about her friends, she names people like her baby sisters in PA and some other children from the orphanage in Haiti. I start thinking how lonely she may be despite her mostly seeming happy, and that just about does me in.

June 17: I had to work a little late so my sister took the girl to VBS and I picked them up. In between I went to get the things out of the storage unit so I don't have to keep paying out money I don't have for that. When I picked them up and ask about their night, K again says she doesn't have any friends. I have a really hard time keeping it together.

June 18: Start K back in summer school, and then am stressed out about if she's going to have a good day, where the bus is going to drop her off (if she's going to make it home), etc. Relieved when my mother says she made it home and liked her teacher. The girls are arguing a lot and I think it is the combination of this crazy last couple weeks and the thrown-off schedule from VBS at night. After work, I rushed home to take the girls to VBS. I asked one of the teachers again about helping orchestrate K making a friend, and the volunteer says they're aware and (the 2 adults for the group) are spending more time with her. When I ask about just trying to help other children interact with her, he says that they are overwhelmed and it is loud with the children and they are trying. Me too, but this is really hard to hear. On a big positive note, G says that they were talking about Jesus knocking on the door of your heart and opening her heart so He can come in.

June 19: Finally Friday. Really stressed about a work project, evaporated finances etc. After work, the girl went to VBS. Towards the end of the evening, my mother and I went to the little program they had showing the things they had learned and the songs they had sung. The music and message are good, but it becomes more clear that there are only a handful of brown-skinned children in the whole VBS. Bizarrely, the girls are in the back of the group singing and won't go more towards the front even when prompted by the volunteer. I was thinking, what is going on with this? For some reason, they didn't have the girls' VBS shirts. (They were ordering them for people who enrolled a little late, but I had thought that they would get them because we enrolled fairly early, at least I thought we did.) I was really overwhelmed with sadness probably over a lot of things and now that, and trying to keep it together and be positive, which was pretty difficult. They seemed happy, although it was strange when I asked that G said that she was scared of singing in the front, since she happily sang in the church musical in Dec. I really don't know exactly what was going on, if there was a racial undercurrent with being one of a few minority children, or some aspect of G reacting to K's isolation, or something else going on, but it was strange for them to be hiding in the back of the group. It was just very hard to put my finger on, but I was so emotional at that point from the whole week of hearing K feeling like she didn't have friends and then them singing from the back of the group and then not getting t-shirts; I'm afraid I did not ask very nicely about why they didn't have shirts. On a positive note, K said she had a friend she played with and G said the things she liked. When we got home, we were doing some different things and somewhere in all of that, our dog got ahold of G's ballet shoe and bit on it a little, and much crying ensued. Just what we needed! G didn't want to wear her "eaten" shoe any more and said she was not going to ballet the next morning. More crying done by all....

June 20: Woke up, looked for an open Payless with the right size ballet shoes. The girls went to and enjoyed their lesson. After being home for awhile, we went to a cooking demonstration at the Ethiopian church with the Ethiopian adoption group here. Our friends came with us and we had a really fun time seeing the Ethiopian women demonstrate and describe how to make siga wot, gomen, and alicha. (They showed briefly how to do parts of the process but were very clear that when it's really done properly, it takes hours for things like sauteeing the onions, and the other parts of the process.) They were so welcoming and genuine as we have experienced before, and it was really fun to see other adoptive families in our area and connect. After they showed us how they make the Ethiopian food, they brought out the food that they had made for us, clearly hours of work and made with great care. It was amazing. We enjoyed eating it and spending time with them and with each other. Afterwards, we went over to our friends' house and the girls played and watched part of HSM that was on the Disney channel. They had a really fun time singing and dancing along with HSM. (G dancing with baby L on her hip. :) ) We got to sit and talk about all that has been going on, to share thoughts about raising our girls, and to encourage each other. I am so thankful for this family and their friendship, and for what I think it will mean for us as the years go on. We stayed WAY too late and kind of paid for it when we got home and the girls were wound up and worn out, but we really had such a good time it was hard to leave.

June 21: I was nervous about going to church on Father's Day and had major apprehensions about this as it related to their first fathers and the focus on fathers. Also at the VBS final activity on Fri night, the leader said that the children were going to sing a couple of the VBS songs in the service on Sunday. I asked G if she wanted to go and she again said she was nervous. (I asked why since she had sang in church to a bigger group before but she wasn't able to articulate why; just said that she was scared.) So I decided that we would forego church this time, just spend some down time together. Since we'd spent so much time on Sat doing things, I hadn't gotten time to do their hair, and so they got to spend a little more time splashing in the tub and I did K's hair. I hope that things calm down. I'm so thankful for our family. I really don't know how I would have made it without them.

Three weeks in June: Week 2

Week 2: Still having major financial issues and work stress, a tooth ache, and K getting more (medical) attention leading to G needing her share of attention too.
June 8: I started K on medicine (with G's medicine, which is the same as K's). K had a fever of 101, plus her same snotty nose that she's had despite being on antibiotics since last week. I found out that amazingly the neuropsychology psychologist was approved as in-network. Talked with doctor on the phone re her starting meds and the fever/ continued runny nose thing and they wanted her to come into clinic the next day if she had another fever.
June 9: We used this new strategy of dealing with the problem of K not cooperating with changing clothes early in the morning when we have to go somewhere. It is called "sleeping in clothes" (instead of pajamas.) The girls like it (LOL.) K woke up with another 101 fever, which went down with tylenol. Took off the morning to take K to a neuropsychology appt to try to see if she might have some learning difficulties that might be affecting her learning, plus whatever else is going on. When we got to the appt, they asked if she was her normal self, and I mentioned she was sick, then the subject of her having had a fever when she woke up (which she didn't at that point because I'd given her ibuprofen). They wanted to reschedule in order to get her when she was better. In my defense, I didn't think she was as sick as she turned out to be, and it was so hard to schedule the appointment, and I didn't think we would be able to get another appointment very quickly, and I wanted to get it done as soon as we could (since I was trying to get it done before she lost too much more of her Kreyol.) Can you feel the guilt? Just wait. Took her home and went back to work. My sweet mother took her into clinic in the afternoon to see what was going on. They checked her out and did some swabs for various things (strep, flu, etc), sent her down for a chest x-ray, and gave her a different antibiotic prescription. That got done very late. Started to fill the girls' pillboxes and could not find a bottle of one of their important medicines, leading to major panicky stress and looking all over the place. With this new specialist, we need to find a primary care pediatrician for the girls, so did some research and picked one close to us (although she wasn't in but her colleague was) and scheduled an appt for K for her on Fri afternoon.
June 10: Took K to the first day of ESL summer school. (Again feeling defensive--she didn't have a fever and I thought her previous fever and runny nose were related to the ear infection she had before. ) Complete stress trying to get the pills from either the mail order pharmacy (slow slow slow) or a few days worth of pills until the mail order pharmacy could get the order that had already been placed shipped out. (At $10 a pill, a week's worth of pills for both of them would be about $200, which we don't have right now.) Also calls to a prescription assistance program, the social worker, the doctor, the pharmacy, anyone who might have some spare medicine lying around. (I am only half-kidding; seriously it is very stressful when you know how important it is not to miss doses and somehow you've ended up in that situation where you are about to run out, despite your best planning efforts.) Got approved to get a week's worth of medicine paid for by an assistance program, but had to pick up at their pharmacy. Also later in afternoon, got called by the doctor in the late afternoon that K's flu (influenza A) test came back positive. Which was interesting given that she had a flu shot, but given her immune system and the different kinds of flu not covered by the flu shot, is obviously possible, although unfortunate. So that was also called into the same pharmacy. Unfortunately they didn't have the smaller dose pills of the Tamiflu, so it was going to be picked up the next morning. A couple hours later the test came back indicating that it was the H1N1 virus ("swine flu"). Yikes. The doctor called and really wanted K to get started on the Tamiflu that night so called it into another pharmacy for K ($50 prescription....) I could still get G's the next day (for preventative purposes). Slightly scary discussion of how it's great if K is doing okay for now, but if she gets sick they may want to consider hospitalizing her. And she should be seen in clinic again on Friday and wear a mask when she comes (and they are going to redo her liver labs.) And she really shouldn't go out in public. And was I pretty sure the flu symptoms started before she started her new meds and not after since the new meds cause a hyperallergic reaction in some people and we want to make sure she doesn't have that. Later that evening as I am cleaning off the COUCH, I find the missing bottle of pills. OF COURSE. (Because definitely pill bottles belong in the living room.) I'm like, how did my pretty healthy child with a chronic illness become a chronically ill child?
June 11: G has an ENT appointment, which my mother takes her to. Her ear looks good (although still not underwater swimming worthy). Of course summer school is out for a week--I called the school so they knew it was the flu, not just because I didn't want to send her (since I'm sure they thought since they placed her into 1st that I was just not going to send her to summer school because that's just what they think.) Go back to the special pharmacy to get G's tamiflu.
June 12: My sister takes K for her appt at the specialty clinic--they agree that she looks good and that hopefully she'll be fine. I get really stressed out when I can't go to their appointments and have to send someone in my place? I am so grateful to have my family SO SO SO SO grateful, especially with all of this going on, but I really prefer to be there to hear it from the doctor's myself. But I didn't feel like I could what with the getting in trouble for missing work for appointments etc. Anyway, but Friday afternoon I was a little beside myself with what was going on and told my work about her having the flu and needing to be seen (despite the stress over asking for time off.) I went home and took her (and G) to the appointment. Which was fine, mostly just getting introduced to this practice and dealing with K's immediate issues. I think the pediatrician was pregnant and a little nervous about K's flu and other infections--at least she was very rushed in seeing her and getting all the background info. We were there so long, we were the last ones there on Fri afternoon and when the girls were in the bathroom, they forgot we were there and almost locked us up in the clinic. So glad that week was over.
June 13: Took G to ballet but otherwise stayed in for the day.
June 14: Stayed in with the girls all day. During a conversation with the girls, K makes a face when the subject of school/ her kindergarten teacher comes up (which I hadn't seen before), and I asked her "K, (did) you like Ms. W?" She said, welllllllllll, then shook her head no. I was surprised because even though I was disappointed with the school experience, I thought that the kindergarten teacher seemed good (and you just think that of course kindergarten teachers are going to be good with children.) I asked her why. She said "Ms. W like this" then tapped the top of her head several times hard with one finger "K, what are you doing?" Wow, that was not what I expected. I don't know the context of what happened with the teacher tapping her head several times, but clearly it had an effect on K. I hope K has a better experience with her next teacher.

Three weeks in June: Week 1

I am feeling very tired and worn out, and I'm ready for June to be over. Here's the tally of what has happened this month so far. July has to be better, right?

(Under all of these you can layer MAJOR financial and work stress, some of which is related to taking time off for appointments. Also a persistent toothache that I don't have the time or money to deal with. Also as K is having more health issues requiring attention, G feels neglected and needs attention too.)

June 1: Appointment with new doctor for the girls. She noted that K's ear were infected again (along with her yucky nose) and that her liver seemed bigger than was previously noted. We discussed treatment options and re-did her labs to make sure that now is the right time to start treatment (since it could have been a temporary drop when we did them last month). Got antibiotics for her ear/ respiratory infections.

June 2: Got stupid form from the school re wanting to retain K.

June 3: Calls to the district re what the heck about retaining a newly arrived, limited English speaking kindergartener over her parent's objections.

June 4: Finally heard back from the district that the school was placing K in 1st grade. Finally heard back from the school. Received a call about K's long awaited neuropsychology appointment--that the provider is out of network and it will be $1500 out of pocket unless it can miraculously be approved for her to be an in-network provider by next Tuesday (then it will be $500 out of pocket). And she had some weird code as the diagnosis for the referral. Lots of trying to figure out how to get this done.

June 5: Late afternoon, I was called by the doctor who got K's labs back that her counts were way down again (scarily low and a major drop from Feb to May to June), and that she really did need to start treatment ASAP. And she also had some elevated liver numbers. But mostly that she needed to start treatment ASAP. Wow. Didn't expect that.

June 6 (Sat): Meds called into mail order pharmacy. Started ballet classes. :)

June 7: Called pharmacy to see when the meds would come..... Annoyingly, that would be at least a week. No time to wait for K..... Asked for prayers for K at church, funny given what happened later that week.

The (super-cute) face of flu

Outside of having worked for DHHS, I probably wouldn't have heard of the Faces of Flu campaign they had to encourage people to get a flu shot. (Which everyone in our house has.) Anyway, it seems particularly relevant since we got word late Wed that K had/has the flu, yes this kind. Fortunately it seems to be a mild case and fortunately we were able to get her on tamiflu (and G too to try to prevent her from getting it). It was a little scary when the doctor implied that if she got worse she might need to be hospitalized. One of our friends was tested shortly afterwards and she also has it and is much more symptomatic, so prayers for all those affected by types of flu not covered by the flu shot are appreciated. Also appreciated are prayers for all those parents/ caregivers who have to entertain their kids at home away from the public for a week.

On to First Grade!

The week before last was a roller coaster. I've been waiting for the school to send home the form saying they were planning to retain K before sending in the appeal. Tuesday, THE DAY BEFORE SCHOOL ENDED, the day of the end of year awards parties, K's teacher sent an email saying that she had the form and that I could sign it and give it back when I was at the school if I was coming up for the awards party. I emailed back that I wasn't able to attend, but my mother would be going up and she could send them home with her. I was thinking, yeah right, like I'm just going to sign and give it back to you; I am so sure. (Can I just add that at the end of year classroom awards party, of K, she said "K came here from Haiti and has been just a few months and has learned a few words." What the heck???) She sent it home in K's backpack (THE DAY BEFORE SCHOOL ENDED). What got sent home was a surprise. I expected to see a letter saying that she had not made adequate academic progress (BECAUSE SHE IS STILL LEARNING ENGLISH) and that they were planning to retain her at the end of the summer pending an end of summer assessment. I didn't expect to get the form I got. Under comments, it said for "Mid Year" (which actually should have been NA since she came in Jan.) "Non-English speaker. Entry date 1/21/09. No data available. Mom removed her from school (withdrew) 1/25/09. Reenrolled 2/9/09. Grades reflect significant ESL accommodations." HMMMMM, think they took the withdrawal personally? Under "End of Year" comments, she wrote "K continues to aquire (sic) English. She is able to use 1 and 2 words to express naming words and simple wants. She was not able to be adequately assessed for E04 benchmarks due to lack of English language. She has adjusted very well socially and has made friends. She continues to progress adequately in English language development." This was the second time she had said that K used 1-2 word phrases to communicate, which was shocking to me given that K has been using a LOT more words and longer phrases at home. I'm really not sure what was going on at school for her to be so practically non-verbal there, given that she talks all the time here and uses a lot more words and phrases, more every day. (I can speculate, that partly because of the open concept environment, they are constantly saying "shhhhh", that she is nervous about saying things wrong, wanting to be right, but I am not sure what was going on with that. But to only hear that at the end of the year was wrong.) So the basic point is that due to her lack of English, they couldn't assess kindergarten benchmarks. HELLO, she just got here! At the bottom of the form sent home, there were 2 sets of boxes, one for End of Year Placement Decisions and one for Intervention Plans for Next Year. Under End of Year Placement Decisions, they checked off testing her at the end of the summer for kindergarten benchmarks and also had checked off retain in K (although it wasn't clear if it was checked or checked and then crossed off). Either way it was already clear that was their intention at the end of the summer. Under Intervention Plans for Next Year, nothing was checked. HMMMM, interesting-- consistent with my research on retention, that the system often uses retention rather than implementing interventions to address what is affecting learning. The most interesting, ridiculous part of the form was at the very bottom. One box said "Mid Year Conference" and was signed by the principal and the assistant principal. (She was not in the school at the mid-year point.) The other box said "End of Year Conference" and was signed by the principal, assistant principal, and teacher, with a line for the parent to sign, as if there really was a conference that I was at with those people. If they had sent home a paper that said "we don't think your child should go to first grade and we intend to retain her regardless of what you think; sign this saying you received it" I might have signed, it, but they sent home this one about a conference that didn't happen.

Instead of the form, I sent a letter expressing my concern about hearing this about K not talking in sentences at school and their decision to retain her based on language acquisition issues rather than true academic issues. The next day, the last day of school, I called the district to see if anyone in the ESL/ELL department could help me, or give me any advice about the school's decision. The first person I talked to was very surprised that a school would be retaining a newly arrived children who was just here 4 months, especially over a parent's objection in a non-TAKS testing grade. She started to educate me on how children have to learn oral language before written language and it doesn't make sense to expect her to pass sight words before she knows the underlying concepts--I was like, yeah, I get it, that's what I thought. She also totally "got" the issue of K not talking in class even though she talks at home. She suggested I talk with the person who does the ESL K/PreK summer school to get an idea about the level of language acquisition for the 2 levels and that I talk with the district's director of curriculum regarding the retention issue. I left a message for the director of curriculum and called to talk with the woman in charge of the ESL K/PreK summer school. When talking about summer school, she asked about what grade K would be in next year, and I told her about the situation with the school wanting to retain K even though she is a newly arrived student, and it being based on language acquisition. She was also very surprised and said I should talk with the head of ESL/ELL for the district about the retention plan (and she implied that the school should have let them know they were planning on retaining a newly arrived ESL kindergartner and they were unaware of it.) The head of ESL/ELL for the district called later and I gave her the basic information about the situation with K having just started learning English in January/ February and the school wanting to retain her in kindergarten next year if she didn't pass kindergarten benchmarks. She said she would call the school to understand their side of things and call me back. I felt reassured by their response, but still wasn't sure they wouldn't just back up what the school wanted to do. I didn't hear back on Wed and thought they were probably playing phone tag and didn't get a chance to call me back. The girls both brought home huge packets of materials the school sent home for worksheets to do over the summer, summer reading programs, papers from the year, the report card, etc. I barely looked the report card because for ESL students, they give them a grade of S for everything regardless of their performance. Thurs was a teacher work day and I was waiting for the woman from the ESL/ELL department to call. I was really getting stressed out about not getting a call back, when the director of curriculum from the district called and asked if the school had called me yesterday. (No....) She said that they were supposed to have called yesterday to say that the placement decision had been changed from retaining K to placing her in first for next year. (YAY!) She said they should be calling. I waited a couple of hours, then called and left a message for the assistant principal (since no one answered.) About an hour later, K's teacher called. (Interesting that the assistant principal didn't return the call but had her call.) She wanted to "make sure I had seen the back of K's report card" where it said that she was being placed into 1st grade rather than being retained in kindergarten. I said I hadn't, and she said she was just making sure because it was very small and perhaps I hadn't seen it. I was thinking, after all that, you think I would be looking at the tiniest place in this big packet of things that were sent home to see what the placement decision was, when you had already told me what the decision was going to be? So passive aggressive on the school's part. Sure enough, when I looked through the whole packet that had been sent home the afternoon before (the same day I had talked with the district), in tiny typed letters on the report card, it said placed. Seriously, I am sure they are really mad at me, and I didn't/don't want to be "that parent", but I just could not go along with their plan to retain her. Clearly the district didn't agree either.

In this case the bureaucracy was on my side (although I'm not naive that they could as easily have gone with their "we're a big school district and have our policies" and stood by the school.) I am very glad that we have more time to get K the English skills and confidence she needs to show what she can do in school. I am also thinking now that perhaps by being treated as a younger child (like the younger pre-K sibling of the class), she accommodated to this role in her interactions and did not feel confident, and that along with the open classroom "shhhhh, everyone has to be quiet" atmosphere may have contributed to her not expressing herself in words to the extent she is capable. I continue to have major mixed feelings about this school we're zoned to and the larger district, but for now I am just glad that she is going to first.

So sweet

They've been bringing things home that have been at school all year or semester (especially G), and this sweet art/ writing idea project about things she loves was in G's folder. I love this!

Thank you all so much for your supportive comments about K and school. They haven't sent home the actual paper saying that they are planning to retain her (if she doesn't meet their standards at the end of the summer)--once they do that, I'm going to send a letter appealing it.

K had her pill-swallowing appointment and learned how to swallow huge pills within 15 minutes. She was so happy and proud of herself for learning this skill. Since she hasn't been given a prescription yet, we're continuing to practice with Mike&Ike candies, which are about the biggest capsule-like candies. She is so cute with how she goes through the steps-sit up straight, chin up, middle of the tongue, drink water. :) Also cute (although I hate to admit part of this story), I was watching the Bachelorette the other night, and she was totally mocking the guys not getting a rose-crying (twisting her hands on her eyes), saying, if they don't get a rose, they boo-hoo. :) (It was much cuter in person than in print, trust me.) Today they have end of school parties (although the last day is next week), and I am so sad that I can't go because of not being able to get off of work for this. We have a lot of appointments scheduled for the next few weeks, and I'm already stressed about asking for time off for those. We went to a fun pool party with old friends who I haven't seen for years and had a lot of fun. K accidently fell in the pool but was quickly pushed to the side and pulled out, and didn't seem at all anxious about it. (I think I was more so than her!) They had a lot of fun playing with those pull-up water shooters. As far as I'm concerned, it would be fine if every week was 4 day work week!

Seriously X elem. school? Seriously???

Late Friday afternoon, I went up to meet with K's teacher, who had wanted to let me know about her end of the year progress. From our last discussion, about a month ago, I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that she still has trouble with her letter sounds. I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that they were placing her in 1st grade rather than promoting her. But I was VERY SURPRISED based on our last discussion to hear that the school wants to retain her in kindergarten, and that my opinion is (basically) irrelevant. They had this committee meeting reviewing all the kids, and decided that she's not likely to meet the standards of 1st grade, so they don't think she should go. Even within the same conversation, several times the teacher says that kids have sudden rapid spurts of language acquisition, and that at any time she could take off.

I was frustrated/ upset about it when this first happened, but after doing some research on kindergarten retention, I am even more upset. It doesn't do what they say it does as far as putting the kids at the top of their class so they can go into their next years of school with confidence; being overage for their grade is not benign even in the younger grades; yes by the time they are in upper grades there are a surprising percentage of kids who are overgrade for their age (but just because something is common does not mean that it is a good idea), but this is (on the whole), not benign. This is really all about 3rd grade TAKS testing; already in K they are making decisions that put children off-grade for their whole lives. The fact is that she has not acquired enough language to understand some of the things they are asking of her--seriously, sight word recognition for a kindergartener who's been around English for 3 months? Most of their assessments are done on a computer station, and the children have to hear the instructions and respond within about 5 seconds, or it is marked wrong. And some of the things she is talking about her not being able to do when assessed are things I have seen her do or heard her do at home. According to the teacher, this district's (written) POLICY is that they make the decision about placement or promotion and the parent really has no say in it. (She didn't say it quite that strongly but that is really the gist--you can appeal but the decision is the school grade placement committee's. She even said it was not the teacher's decision, but that seems a little of passing the buck.) It is really unbelievable to me that they take all the power from the parent in this district and blame everything on their "policies" and being a "large district". Give me a break. We lived in Montgomery County Maryland, one of the best districts in the country (and a LARGER district than this one,) and there was more local school control than this (not that I agreed with what they did either, but still). SHE DOESN'T FULLY SPEAK ENGLISH YET, what part of that don't you understand? Despite their experiences with ESL/ELL/ newly arriving students to the US, they seem to not get the time element in learning English and the effects of that on assessment and learning. I also think this open concept setting can not be helping with learning acquisition.

On the plus side, the teacher said she is very social, has a happy disposition and is very willing and bold to take risks and jump in to learning and trying her best to answer (and in the example of this she gave, K had answered the question right, despite it supposedly being over her head), and that she has surprisingly good ability to sit attentively and listen compared with many students in general, especially non-English speaking students who don't understand a great deal of what is going on. And again, I keep going back to her multiple examples of students who plodded along for months and then had a sudden burst of language acquisition and expression. When that happens, she will already be below her grade level in their plan. I am not planning to take this lying down, we are planning to do a lot over the summer, and I seriously am going to be ticked off if that is still their approach at the beginning of the year. And seriously, if they do like they did last year with G and try to put her in a classroom and then assess her after the year is started and then say they'll change her, I think I will lose my mind.

I am so disappointed by this school. Maybe I'm attributing more to the district than I should since they've always said this is because of "district policies", because a friend who is an elementary school teacher in the same district says they don't do things this way. I know it will all work out; I am just frustrated with the lack of individualization, the undercurrent of testing performance, and the strong-arming of parents whose children don't fit the mold. I also am realizing how the level of instruction affects what kids learn --I know that is so obvious but suddenly I'm realizing that G has learned most of the same things in 1st grade here that they were learning in K last year in Maryland (like counting money.) I would love to be one of those parents who loves their children's schools and if my kids fit their little mold, I'm sure I would be THRILLED, but they do not, and I am not. Please do not write a comment saying that maybe this is for the best for her to get a chance to catch up--I have heard that argument, I was given that argument when G was placed back in K after originally being placed in 1st last year--the research does not support that retention as an intervention strategy. (It also doesn't support just promoting children and hoping for the best, just to be clear; it supports getting children who need help the help they need.) And I also don't need the argument that 1st grade is a lot more "academic" than kindergarten (another argument I got from the teacher)--I have a 1st grader...

Quote of the month

A lot has been going on, but not really the kind of "a lot" you can quantify, more like just working and school and everyday kinds of things... Here are some of the things we've been up to in the last few weeks (not in chronological order!)



Playdates with friends. We have some friends who we play with every week and others who we play with every other week or so. Lately we've been mostly playing at the park and doing lots of jump-roping. :) (This has the dual effect of being fun and cheap.) We did go to ChuckECheese last weekend, mostly to be able to stop the "are we ever going to ChuckECheese again?" refrains for at least a few weeks. Then the other night there was a school fundraiser at CEC, and I made the mistake of taking the girls since there were 20 free tokens involved... We stayed too long and it did not end well. That was my mistake.

The Ethiopian church that we visited before invited families to post-Easter picnic activity for the children. We got these cool shirts for kids with the Ethiopian cross and a saying that says "today the flower, tomorrow the fruit." :) They're going to have a cooking lesson sometime soon, and I was also asking about there might be someone to re-teach G her Amharic. That would be so great.

Swine flu madness. Someone in the girls' school got swine flu and it was at the point of things where they were shutting down schools. So they were out of school a couple of days for that. Coincidentally, G had an ENT follow-up appt in the middle of the day that same day, so K went along, and my (poor) mother took them to the appt and had the unfortune to be in the middle of a hunger/ dehydration-induced meltdown on K's part. Anyone remember Gremlins--the movie where those cute little creatures turn scary if you feed them after midnight or get them wet? Well here it works in reverse--remember to feed them/ bring snacks and water or you will really regret it! I felt so sorry for my mother (and the girls). They survived, and fortunately a couple days later, the CDC and the health dept reconsidered their "close the schools" recommendation, once they realized it wasn't as serious as they had thought. So that was good.

We had some more severe rain that turned into flooding/ leaking into our house AGAIN. That was annoying, but I did feel very smart to have procrastinated in getting permanent carpeting/ flooring in the living room. I'm thinking about getting this based on a friend's recommendation.

I went to the Christian Alliance for Orphans conference in Dallas for a day. (I didn't want to be away overnight for the girls.) It was amazing and overwhelming. I couldn't stop thinking about K's sisters in Haiti. I got to hang out with Carolyn and McLane, talk about Project HOPEFUL stuff, meet some internet friends, and hear some amazing presentations, especially one by Karyn Purvis, who we also went to dinner with before I took the flight home. Some of her presentations are available here and here. She gave me some thoughts about some of the things that might be going on with K. What a blessing!

We've been working a lot on a new version of our Project HOPEFUL website, with more family stories and a store and lots of other cool stuff, like this cool jewelry. God is moving and we are getting really busy, although it is hard not to be able to do very much due to work and parenting responsibilities that take up more time some days than others (e.g. evenings spent doing hair. :) ) It is exciting to see God moving with lots of connections with people that will help families currently in the process and those who are coming behind them. Just about anytime God is about to do something BIG, crazy things start happening. Like how the server for our website crashed for almost 2 days this week, just as some critical things are happening with regard to advocacy and getting people involved, and various other things related to personal and family stress in the lives of those involved with Project HOPEFUL. HAHAHA, we are NOT fooled about where this craziness is coming from-- sometimes the enemy is so obvious, but God is bigger than he is, and greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world.

We had clinic visits for both girls and K's labs were down (to 384) since January, now in the level where it's a good idea for her to start treatment. I knew it was coming at some point, but I still hoped to defer as long as reasonable. I'm kind of sad that she has to, although I'm obviously grateful that she didn't really need to until now, that she's here where I can make sure she's getting them and that we have good access to care and treatment. She's going to pill-swallowing class--there is a protocol where they start with swallowing small placebo pills and work up to ones that are the size of what she will be taking. (You can find the video here.) I'm also trying to get her into neurology and neuropsych (and possibly a sleep study) because she has this weird thing that happens when she's really stressed and tired (like when we're trying to get ready in the morning for school). She seems to have trouble standing up/ lose muscle tone and has poor balance and is just very much not her normal happy self. This happened twice this week. :( I'm trying to do some research on some homeopathic/ vitamin type things that might help too, but I am such a novice at that kind of thing that I can't really figure it out, other than omega 3 fats, but even that I feel like such an idiot about because I don't really know if the type of vitamins (see, I don't even know the right word for them) you buy at the grocery store are really adequate and which ones to get. We got these omega 3 gummy fish, but I really don't know if those work... I'm just hoping that they see something when she's having these appointments, because it is so frustrating to see a problem and to have the medical providers be all "what? she looks fine to us." I am also very frustrated now that it seems like this is not really being taken seriously. She also doesn't seem like her language and communication has progressed as quickly as G's did. Like I said before, when I talked with Karyn Purvis at the conference, she had some ideas about this that I passed along to the medical folks (not all of which were received). She's seen a lot of children who have come from "hard places" in their early childhood experiences and shared about how this can affect their "wiring." Obviously all kids are different, but if there's something else going on that the neuropsyc assessment can identify, that would be great to know so I can try to help her in the best ways. Especially with this problem she has with getting up/ functioning in the morning, it makes me wish that I could homeschool her (which wasn't/ isn't an option but I wish it was.) G will also need a few appts this summer. Also on the same day that I found out K's labs were down/ she needs to start medicine, G had a kind of scary, hopefully non-recurring medical-type thing happen that necessitated an impromptu visit to clinic. So that was very worrysome, but seemed to resolve itself, which was great. I had this insight that I've been repeating to myself (probably not very profound to anyone but me, but just to remind myself later when something else inevitably comes up)-- If God knows every hair on her head, He knows every cell in her body, so He knows exactly what is going on with her and can take care of it. It has been oddly reassuring to me to be able to pray about that with regard to whatever is going on with K too, that God does know what is going on and that He will make it clear what to do.

Work has been stressful and balancing work with what the girls need is sometimes really stressful. I'm trying to do some online classes and it is hard to get done, especially when I accidently fall asleep when I'm lying down reading the girls to sleep (I know it's my own fault for lying down reading). For some bizarre reason I ended up doing the girls' hair on 3 weeknights last week, which was CRAZY!!! I keep asking myself WHYYYY I end up in that situation. (Which really the answer is that sometimes their hair is "just a little TOO fuzzy" for them to be sent out into the world for even one more day without it being re-done! Chalk up another point for homeschooling/ working at home!) It's the end of the school year and there are lots of things going on, lots of plans for the summer, and time and financial crunches, so that is simultaneously fun and stressful.

Thanks so much for stopping by and for your prayers and encouragement. Please let me know how I can pray for you.